Today was Colton's first day of school. He is returning to the same preschool (which we ADORE) so in some ways it's business as usual. The big difference this year however is that Brynn is starting kindergarten which means she is now in a different school. I totally underestimated how tough this morning would be for Colti and I! Let me go back a few days...
Last week we had Colton's open house. It went great! He seemed excited to see some of his old friends and teachers. He hung out with Dan, Brynn and I for a few minutes and then took off to play. He was perfectly fine when they took all of the parents into the other room. He hardly seemed to notice we were leaving although to be fair he still had Brynn with him. "Yay", I thought, "He is going to be excited to come back now." Wishful thinking?
We started the morning off great! He was excited to rock his new Mickey Mouse lunch box and loved his new shirt.
As we started to head out the door he remembered that Brynn was not going with us. Things went downhill from there..
On the drive, we talked about school and how much fun he would have with his friends and how much he was going to learn this year. Obviously he did not buy it because the second we pulled into the school parking lot he started crying...and trying to think of a way out of this whole school thing. "Mama, I go work with you", "I go to Mommom's house?", "I tired. I go bed", "I stay with Tori" (his summer Nanny)...are just a few of the things he told me.
I took him into his classroom and one of the teachers (whom he generally adores) greeted him and he clung to my neck. I put him down to put away his things and he clung to my leg and said "I no go to school. I go to work" and "I go Brynnie's school!". I was pretty close to tears at this point but tried to put on a smile for him". This was so much easier when he had his big sister holding onto his hand and helping through the first few minutes of anxiety!!! I spent a few extra minutes with him snuggling and kissing and telling him how much fun he will have and then I had to do the worst thing that Mom's have to do. I had to hand over my crying baby to someone else and walk away. I'm not afraid to admit that I was crying before I even made it out the door and then had a good little sob spell in my car. I then called Dan and told him I was quitting my job. I was only half kidding. I want to drive back that right now and peek in the windows to make sure he is okay. I will not do it...probably. But I really want to!
The truth of the matter is that Colton will be fine. He actually loves school but it's really hard for any of us to remember that the first week at drop off time. His teacher texted me literally two minutes later and said he was fine and was playing blocks with another little boy. I'm sure that is true...however, his Mama is still sitting in her office with the door closed so that no one will see my tear splotched face.
Please tell me that some year this will get easier!!! Sigh...
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